Invader Tezcatlipoca: The Revised Cut
by Lunamoon974
Summary: The revised version of "Invader Tezcatlipoca"! The writing and story is improvised. Plot's the same, Tezcatlipoca teams up with Zim, Quetzalcoatl teams up with Dib, and the rest of all that stuff. Rated T for violence and drunkeness. (About the drunkeness part, that's because the Centzon-Totochtin appear. Look them up. It's also for the mentions of pulque, the Aztec's beer.)
1. Prologue

_**A/N: So I'm rewriting "Invader Tezcatlipoca", huh? Look, I looked back on it, and thought, "Man, I could totally write this better!" So I am. Sorry I deleted the original! I just felt unsatisfied with the original version. So, here it is, "Invader Tezcatlipoca: The Revised Cut"! Enjoy!**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or Aztec mythology. Invader Zim belongs to Nickelodeon, Viacom, and Jhonen Vasquez, and Aztec mythology belongs to Central Mexico. (Not that that matters)**_

 **A VERY, VERY LONG TIME AGO...AS IN FOUR WORLDS BEFORE THIS ONE...**

 _An enormous feathered snake took off into the sky, which people today would find odd because this snake had no wings! This snake was actually the god Quetzalcoatl, the White Tezcatlipoca, and he had a bone to pick with his brother/rival, Tezcatlipoca, the Black Tezcatlipoca. (Yes, that is very confusing.) Quetzalcoatl had a big club with him (how exactly...?), and he was heading toward the Sun of the Earth. This sun was half a sun. You see, Tezcatlipoca became the Sun of the Earth, but due to the fact that he was the god of darkness, he could only become half of a sun. Now, Quetzalcoatl said, "I am sorry, my brother, but your reign must end." And with that, he struck the Sun of the Earth with the club. It transformed back into its ruler, Tezcatlipoca, and he fell to the earth, and had transformed into a jaguar. Now, the world was covered in darkness, since there was no sun. In a heated rage, Tezcatlipoca commanded all the jaguars on the land to eat all the people. It was a very bloody and horrific day. That day, a rivally between siblings devolved into a horrible enmity._

 _ **A/N: This is just the prologue! We're getting to the part with Invader Zim! Now, the reason I chose Aztec mythology plus Invader Zim is because, if you know enough about Aztec mythology, you could totally imagine those two colliding! Invader Zim is just something I'd imagine to mix well with Mexican culture. (I mean, there's the load of Mexican food, its obsession with meat, and the fact that Jhonen Vasquez himself is Mexican-American.)**_


	2. Chapter 1: A Plan? Oh Boy!

_**A/N: The rewritten version of the first chapter! Now we're getting to the part with Invader Zim! Oh, and happy Easter to y'all! Enjoy your chocolate and jellybean-induced food comas! XD Enjoy!**_

 _ **Disclaimer: Invader Zim and Aztec mythology do not belong to me. Invader Zim belongs to Nickelodeon, Viacom, and Jhonen Vasquez (good luck on the movie to all three of you, by the way!), and Aztec mythology belongs to Central Mexico. (Not that that matters, of course.)**_

 **PRESENT DAY, MAY 23, 2021**

Finally, now that that stupid human information source was out for the warm season, Zim had more time to cook up more schemes to get that stupid Dib out of his skin and take over the planet!

 ***KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK***

Zim sighed. Couldn't those stupid humans that tried to sell their stupid gadgets see that he didn't have time for them?! Only one thing to do...

"I'm not interested in your 'fancy'-OOOMPH! GET OFF ME THIS INSTANT, YOU FILTHY ANIMAL!"

When he had opened the door, it wasn't one of those stupid humans that was there, oh no. Instead, there was a black jaguar, which Zim didn't recognize as such at first, until he remembered hearing word of a black jaguar roaming through the streets, with a picture of it and advice to barricade your windows and doors and "scream like maniacs". He, of course, had dismissed that warning, because he didn't think that it would be as dangerous as the warning was making it out to be. It was just an Earth creature, after all. Nothing an Irken like Zim couldn't handle, right?

Wrong. This creature had Zim pinned down.

"HNNNG! It appears this Earth creature is a lot stronger than I expected..."

Then he saw GIR coming out from the kitchen.

"GIR! DEFENSIVE MODE!"

"Yes, sir!" the robot answered, before going back to "broken mode" and yelling, "Kitty cat? KITTY CAT!"

Then GIR proceeded to tackle the jaguar so hard he knocked it off of Zim.

"I CANNOT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" the jaguar suddenly yelled. Then the jaguar started turning into a...human?! The only oddities with this human were that he wore nothing but cloth made of yellow skin that was covered in weird irreagularly shaped black spots that had smaller spots in them and that he had an obsidian mirror for one of his legs.

"Okay, you are very, very annoying! But, as for you, green guy, I shall still tell you my plan for this planet."

Zim took the hint that this human wanted to help him with his plans. "Me?! Accept help?! From humans?!" he yelled. Then he started laughing. "As if! How stupid could you possibly be?! Zim needs NO ONE!"

"Hey, my jaguar form was a fun guy, wasn't he?! You want me to change back into him, hmmm?!"

Zim did something very rare for him to do. He thought about the jaguar form. That thing was practically holding him down! Imagine what else he could do...

"ALRIGHT, TELL ME YOUR PLAN!"

"Ah, that's good. Here's the plan. I just want you to know, I am a god. I am known as Tezcatlipoca. Now, I know your issue. You're trying to take over this planet. There's just this one guy that's stopping you. Now, I want to build an army out of creatures to destroy my enemy, Quetzalcoatl. If you will help me build that army, I, in return, will help you take over this planet. Nobody worships me anymore! So, we shall either destroy them, or enslave them, your choice."

"Hmmm...you know what? I don't need your stupid plan!"

"Well then, enjoy my jaguar form..."

 _This guy really knows how to get what he wants! I wish I could do the same!_ Zim thought. "Since your jaguar form is not a safe guy, you leave me no choice but to accept this! So, I WILL!"

"Perfect," Tezcatlipoca replied. Zim was just a tool Tezcatlipoca had wrapped around his finger to get him to destroy everyone! But for now he needed Zim.

 **THE NEXT NIGHT, MAY 24, 2021, ABOVE IN THE HEAVENS**

Quetzalcoatl still didn't know what to do! His enemy was once again trying to destroy him! True, there was one good thing about their enmity, and that was that it prevented Quetzalcoatl himself from reaching full power, which would cause the end of the world, something that Quetzalcoatl didn't want to happen. But he couldn't watch Tezcatlipoca destroy all humanity! No, he had to do something about this. But what?

Then, he noted that Tezcatlipoca had teamed up with some sort of alien, who wanted to take over the planet. He noted that he had an oppressor, a human child by the name of Digby, or Dib for short. This poor child was always trying to stop the alien and expose him, but he never succeeded at exposing the alien, and nobody really liked him...Quetzalcoatl couldn't help but pity Dib for just how awful his life was. Perhaps he could team up with this child to stop them, since the kid was enemies with the alien. This child would only oppress Quetzalcoatl if he was trying to take over the world or if he oppressed humanity, things that Quetzalcoatl were not! He saw that this child was out in the woods looking for some sort of oversized ape man. He would do.

 **THE WOODS NEAR DOOMSVILLE**

 _Of course Bigfoot gets away before one can even get something of it..._ Dib lamented over another failure. What was with him and failing?! It was like he was made to fail!

"Can't I at least get something interesting that won't try to run away from me?!" he yelled out loud.

That's when it happened. He never thought such a thing would happen. He never thought that he would ever wind up meeting an actual god.

This god's true form definitely looked like something out of the ordinary. It was a giant red, green, and aquamarine feathered snake that flew despite its lack of wings.

He also had a human form, a form Dib was more comfortable with, since the human form looked more welcoming and safe.

After an introduction, Quetzalcoatl explained what was going on. Dib didn't exactly question how Quetzalcoatl knew about things like Dib and Zim's enmity, Quetzalcoatl was a god.

"So let me get this straight. Your enemy has teamed up with my enemy, in some sort of scheme to take over the world, and you want to team up with me to stop them?"

"Exactly. Who knows, maybe you'll finally expose Zim and get the respect I think you deserve."

"You know, I think that's...not a bad idea. I mean, with a god being on Zim's side, that can't end well, unless his enemy has another god on his side!"

"That Tezcatlipoca better watch his back, because when his army's being countered by ours, he won't know what hit him!"

 _ **A/N: Yeah, I completely changed Zim's encounter with Tezcatlipoca and also Dib's encounter with Quetzalcoatl. Next chapter'll be about them starting to build their armies! I hope you guys like this new version of the story! R &R please! And be constructive! Good? Good...now get outta my house! Show's over! I got a life to attend to!**_


End file.
